The scream of the coffee grinder startles me and I’m finally awake.
“Good Lord, it’s morning.” I whisper coarsely, and I wonder how I got into the kitchen.
I smell the freshly ground beans, and I briefly wonder what they’d taste like if I’d pour milk over them and eat them as if they were the new Lucky Stars.
I need thee, oh I need thee. Every hour I need thee…
I sing the lyrics, originally written for God, to the life-giving nectar pouring from the coffee maker.
No mention to the Father who made the day. No spirit of thankfulness for the sun peeking through the kitchen windows. No gratitude for life itself.
Because I wish I was flat on my back with my eyes closed.
I quickly exchange the coffee pot with my mug, just for a moment; just until I fill my cup to almost overflowing. Because I cannot wait.
Fill up my cup, fill my cup, let it overflow…
“Next I’ll be lying on my back on the counter, sucking on the spigot itself,” I think to myself, “Much like a calf nursing.”
And then I almost smile for the first time as I see in my mind’s eye, a calf, lying supine in the grass, hoofs in the air as it nourishes from its mother. “Why hasn’t Mr. Coffee thought of replacing the spigot for an udder?” I think to myself.
What can I say. Sometimes my brain malfunctions as it tries to boot up in the morning.
I scroll through the items in my task manager on my phone.
So much to do, so little time.
I refill my mug. It’s going to be a long day.
This past week, this has been my morning routine. I remember opening my Bible only once, but because of the pressure of the day’s duties, I quickly closed it before the Psalm became meaningful.
And even now, after I’ve had my third cup of coffee this Friday morning, I just want to go back up to bed, burrow deep beneath the comforter, and sleep.
Maybe I should.
I have another hour before I need to drive the ten minutes to my job.
A pastor once said: “The most spiritual thing a person can do sometimes… is take a nap.”
I’m going to close this laptop and go test his theory.
After all, how am I going to take care of the world if I don’t first, take care of myself?
– Duane Scott
True story. When he was in kindergarten, my son came home and started saying, “Apple starts with A, Ball starts with B…Mom starts with coffee.” Haven’t gotten to this chapter yet, but I like your take on it. I think mothers of small children especially need to hear your pastor’s words. And be reminded that they are not in charge of holding the universe together.
Lol, Nancy 🙂 I love it.
LL starts with chocolate. 😉
Duane, another great post that made me smile!
This is so great! This chapter couldn’t have come at a better time for me. I’m terrible at self-care … I am one of those people who thinks that I have to say yes when people ask … I’m learning that it’s important to take care of myself. To stop and take a break. To nap every now and then. Because only when I have taken care of myself will I have the energy to take care of others.
I always need this reminder too :). Coffee gets me started too! But…maybe L.L.’s idea of chocolate is better for the self-care :).
Wow! The transparency in this post is super cool. Thanks Duane 🙂