the silence and the tears

Written by Jason Wert

Writer, speaker, father, Swedish Fish addict living in Springfield, Missouri. Creator of Mustard Seed Year, a year totally dedicated to seeking God's will in every moment of every day life.

July 27, 2012

Jesus wept

I’ve long been impressed by the power of the shortest verse in the Bible.

“Jesus wept.” – John 11:35

The verse has been in many sermons over the years. Every time I’ve heard the verse used it was in the context of showing Jesus’ humanity and that it shows He knew pain like we know pain. It’s certainly valid to hold that position and I will not deny it’s a very truthful way to look at the passage.

But I see it another way.

My last 18 months have been what most people would politely call “a challenge.” I went over a year without a job. I lost my marriage. I had to move from a town I absolutely loved to a town I really didn’t want to live in. It’s been a valley that just seems to go deeper and deeper to the point I think I might need tested for Radon.

It’s during this time I’ve probably shed more tears than I did when the Phillies won the World Series in 2008. There were days where it took all the energy I had just to make it another 24 hours.

I have some wonderful friends who have been there for me throughout the process. I can’t put into the words the value of having these folks there for me in the darkest times. A surprise gift card to a restaurant my son loved to visit. A book that I was dying to read would appear in the mail. Someone would invite me to hang out, chat and drink hot chocolate with a shot of vanilla. Their kind words, deeds and just being there many times was the physical manifestation of God’s love.

But there were times that I didn’t want to talk. Didn’t need to talk. I just needed to be.

Just to sit there and cry a bit.

Just to let the emotion pour out without having to verbalize, analyze or proselytize.

And that’s what Jesus did when he stood at the tomb of Lazarus and cried.

He didn’t preach a sermon.

He didn’t stand there and tell the sisters it was going to be fine.

Yes, he did those things at other times…but not in that moment.

In that moment, Jesus knew the best thing to do was be silent and let the emotions go.

And it wasn’t just a minute or two. It was long enough that those standing around commented to each other about how much Jesus loved Lazarus.

He knew the power of the silence and the tears.

When we have friends facing difficult situations, our natural instinct is to rush in with uplifting words or other expressions of hope.

Instead, find ways to bring them out of the sadness and pull them up into a happier place.

Some of my greatest moments of friendship have come by sitting in silence and crying with friends. Because it helps to know someone else also recognizes the hurt. It seems, sometimes, you just need to let the hurt out before you can get back on your feet and move forward again.

Don’t be afraid of the silence and the tears.

9 Comments

  1. Leslie Rowe

    Jason, thanks for being vulnerable. Sorry you’re going through it. Let me extend a virtual hug.

    Reply
    • Jason Wert

      Thanks, Leslie. I appreciate it!

      Reply
  2. Sandra Heska King

    It’s true. We’re afraid of silence and tears. We just want to fix everything. Is that a control thing? I’ve found that my worst times were the times God drew me closer. Praying that for you. Thanks for being real in this space.

    Reply
    • Jason Wert

      Thanks Sandra!

      Reply
  3. Jennifer Upton

    So beautifully written. My Covenant Love and I have cried more tears this past season than ever before in our life. Many times there just weren’t words yet formed within us, so we cried. We gave one another permission to do this and it has saved us. I am sorry to read of your hurts, we too know hurt and appreciate when others are transparent in their telling as we are. Just by you sharing I believe you are helping others to “feel” and know they are not alone. By giving ourselves permission in many ways we are offering the same to those around us whether in our daily lives or on the internet. Thank you for your sharing. I think my eye lids are permanently swollen, and that is okay. Hope to read more from your journey along the way. Feel free to hop over and get to know us if you’d like. Love extened community.

    Reply
    • Jason Wert

      Thanks Jennifer!

      Reply
  4. Lori

    Oh Jason, your story moved me greatly. I have been in those valleys and you are so right. Sometimes the thing we most need is to have someone come along beside you and just cry with you, or at least hug you while you cry!

    Reply
  5. Amy

    Wow.

    Reply
  6. Heather Bowie

    Oh this is soooooo true. Life is messy and there are moments to just feel what you need to feel before brushing it away too quickly. Thanks for sharing.

    Reply

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the silence and the tears

by Jason Wert time to read: 3 min
9