It’s fairly common in a situation to want to shift the blame to the other person. Instead of looking for solutions, we are busy saving face.

My first reaction is to point the finger. It’s a knee-jerk reaction. When I have had time away from the situation, I think more clearly and realize my contribution to it. Whether the problem is communication or something bigger like a project not going the way you planned, it’s far better to own up to what led to the problem than to fight over who can take the blame. Instead, solutions need to be found.

How can it work better? How can communication be made more plain? What steps can I take to ensure the problem doesn’t resurface? How can I do something better?

I remember what it said in one of the chapters in the Book of Romans where it says I do not do what I want to do, but I do what I don’t want to do. Small consolation when you’ve contributed to something that helped something fail. Of course, fail is a strong word.

Failure is when the Titanic sank. A problem is when you forget to water your plants and they look a little droopy.

Tony says I am harder on myself than on anyone else. Yes, I beat myself black and blue. I put high expectations on me and I am okay with that provided they are realistic goals. But if I contributed to a wrinkle in a project, I work hard to make sure I acknowledge it. It’s important to not shift the blame to someone else. The focus instead needs to be on finding a solution and moving forward.

When have you shifted blame? How did you resolve the issue?