Is it just me, or does life just feel chaotic sometimes (or more)? It can easily make my head spin! I feel like I often find myself just praying for peace and order. And that’s where a Rule of Life comes in. It brings a rhythm and a sense of stability that I can hold on to so that I can breathe easier and experience the peace that my mind and heart so desperately need.

Our problem is that too often we let ourselves get wrapped up in the chaos of life. Then we’re easy to get distracted by things that seem important, but really aren’t. And then we live in this place where there’s a lack of stability. So what we need is a stabilizing force. We need something to calm the storms so that we can better navigate our days.

The good news is that there are habits and practices that we can build into our lives that bring this stability. We find it in routines that connect us more with God (our source of life) and the people in our lives (who navigate this life with us). We call these practices a Rule of Life.

What Is a Rule of Life?

In order to truly understand the practice of a Rule of Life, we should go back to the 6th century to look at St. Benedict of Nursia. He was a Christian monk, following the practices of earlier monastics like the Desert Fathers and the Post-Nicene Fathers. And he wrote what we refer to as the Rule of Benedict, a guide for monastic communities to help them establish order, balance prayer and work, and enhance spiritual growth.

Benedict believed that living a life dedicated to Christ required us to live a certain way. In his Rule, he writes:

“Now, brethren, that we have asked the Lord who it is that shall dwell in His tabernacle, we have heard the conditions for dwelling there; and if we fulfil the duties of tenants, we shall be heirs of the kingdom of heaven. Our hearts and our bodies must, therefore, be ready to do battle under the biddings of holy obedience; and let us ask the Lord that He supply by the help of His grace what is impossible to us by nature. And if, flying from the pains of hell, we desire to reach life everlasting, then, while there is yet time, and we are still in the flesh, and are able during the present life to fulfil all these things, we must make haste to do now what will profit us forever.”

For Benedict, the routines he set forth on paper were essential to the monastic life. Fifteen-hundred years later, Benedictine monks still follow these rules as a guide that shapes their prayer, work, and interaction with the community.

These rules continue in segments of the church in a variety of ways. The Rule requires monks and nuns to pray eight times every day at various times. Episcopal/Anglican practices have fewer set prayer times in the Book of Common Prayer, such as Morning, Evening, and Compline Prayer (plus some other optional forms). These practices have Benedict’s Rule as their original foundation.

The Rule, however, isn’t only about prayer. It covers many aspects of how we live our lives. And I’m not suggesting that we all follow Benedict’s Rule to the letter (but it is a really good read). What I am suggesting, though, is the importance of having a Rule of Life that guides our own relationship with God and each other, our work, our ministry, our family, and really just about everything in our lives.

And this isn’t intended to be a legalistic tension in your life. Rather a guide to give you structure and direction and purpose in everything you do. It’s not about guilt. It’s about guidance.

Why Structure Helps the Soul

Mental health experts confirm that routines reduce anxiety and decision fatigue. It’s about establishing and maintaining routines. The rhythms help us achieve mental clarity and relive stress in our lives by:

• Providing structure and predictability – This brings a sense of control when life can feel chaotic and out of control. This helps reduce anxiety by creating a more predictable and manageable environment.
• Conserving mental energy – When the routines become habits, it frees up mental resources. This allows you to focus on more important things that require more mental effort. But you’re not being dragged down by other mental clutter.
• Supporting healthy habits – The routines can help you prioritize good self-care habits, both physically and mentally. Having routines related to sleep, healthy eating, exercise, and mindfulness can all contribute to overall well-being.

While this isn’t an exhaustive list, there are several types of routines to consider that can have an impact:

• Consistent sleep-wake schedule – Having a consistent bed time and wake-up time helps your body regulate and improves the quality of your sleep, which is crucial for your mental health.
• Morning routines – Starting your mornings in the same way can reduce overwhelm. Work in things like hydration, stretching, prayer, and breakfast, and don’t let those routines get derailed!
• Exercise habits – Having regular physical activity as part of your routines can boost your mood and reduce stress.
• Prayer and meditative practices – Working in the Daily Office (Morning and Evening Prayer) or some other devotional activity into your routine can set your focus on a strong foundation that impacts everything else in your day.
• Sabbath rest – Having a set routine for downtime and rest is just as important as accomplishing everything else on your task list. Schedule the time on a regular basis and stick to that plan. It’ll give you something to look forward to.
• Digital boundaries – We’ve explored the overwhelming impact of too much digital immersion in this series. Set boundaries for yourself, and monitor your activity to avoid the overwhelm.
• Evening wind-down routine – Look at what you’re doing before you try to go to sleep, and explore better (and healthier) ways to wind yourself down. You’ll sleep much better.

Imagine this… You go to bed at night and can’t sleep after a stressful day at work. So you lay there in bed and doom scroll on your phone for hours. The blue-light from your phone screen stimulates brain activity, but your body eventually drifts off from pure exhaustion. So you sleep restlessly through the rest of the night. When that alarm clock goes off in the morning, you already feel beat up, physically and mentally. You roll out of bed, hit the bathroom, brush your teeth, and head to the kitchen to get breakfast (because you’re starving). But then you see the dirty dishes from last night all over the place, because you were too stressed to deal with them before you went to bed. So out of frustration, you avoid breakfast in order to clean up the kitchen first. Finishing that up, you now look to get something to eat, but then look at the clock… Dang it! You don’t have time for breakfast, or you’ll be late for work! So you rush out the door, tired, hungry, and frustrated.

Ever been there? Yep, me too.

Does that end up in a good day at work? Nope… And only further adding to the stress you’re carrying.

Having a Rule of Life that includes some of the things listed here can definitely change all of that. Rules like evening wind-down and prayer routines, digital boundaries, and making sure you stick to the morning routines can result in your whole mental state going into work is completely different.

That’s what having a Rule of Life can do for you. And remember, it’s not about adding stress. It’s about creating the routines in your life that will make your life better by focusing on the important things in your prayer, work, and relationships with others (pretty much like what St. Benedict was trying to do).

Theological Foundations of a Rule of Life

While our modern understanding of the Rule of Life comes primarily from the Rule of St. Benedict, there’s substantial biblical precedent for creating intentional rhythms.

In Genesis 1, we see God bringing order out of chaos (Genesis 1:2). In the beginning, the earth was formless and void. Then God establishes a pattern of intentional and rhythmic creation:

• Day and night
• Sea and land
• Seasons, stars, and living things
• A time of Sabbath rest

Each day begins with “And God said…” and ends with “And there was evening and there was morning…” There’s a poetic symmetry to it, and it shows the very nature of God himself in the rhythms. God doesn’t create in random chaos (like what our lives can often feel like). He’s deliberate and intentional. And being created in His image, our lives work best when we embrace the holy rhythms of work, worship, and rest.

In Ecclesiastes 3, we see that there are times for everything. In this book, considered one of the Wisdom books of the Bible, we see a poetic reflection on the God-ordained rhythms of life:

• A time to plant and a time to uproot
• A time to weep and a time to laugh
• A time to keep silence and a time to speak

There’s an important spiritual truth in this. Life has a cadence. God doesn’t expect us to push and be in harvest mode all the time. Even things like sorrow, stillness, and pruning have their season. And each is sacred. When we create space for prayer, rest, and work, we’re aligning with the natural rhythms God built into His Creation. And we learn to honor the use of time in our lives.

God is the One who created time, and He called it good. We function better when we live in step with these sacred rhythms.

This is something that Jesus, God in the flesh, understood well. When we look at how He lived His life in the Gospels, we don’t only see powerful miracles and teachings. We also see an intentional rhythm of life. Jesus moved with a holy cadence that reflected a deep connection with the Father and a compassionate presence with others. Here are a few ways Jesus modeled a Rule of Life:

• Prayer and Solitude – Jesus regularly withdrew…
  • Before making major decisions (Luke 6:12)
  • After intense ministry (Luke 5:15-16)
  • To grieve (Matthew 14:13)
• Rest and Sabbath – He challenged legalistic understanding of the Sabbath, but never rejected rest…
  • Took time away with his disciples (Mark 6:31)
  • Welcomes quiet meals and hospitality (Luke 10:38-42)
  • Slept through storms (Mark 4:38)

Jesus took time away from all the noise to center Himself in prayer. And He always ensured that there was margin for rest. Maintaining a life of balance and clarity were crucial to helping Him live more fully. Through Jesus, we see that keeping a Rule of Life helps us build boundaries for meaningful service without burnout.

Being effective in our life, work, and ministry isn’t about being more productive. It’s about balance and being present. When we imitate the pace Jesus modeled, we make space for wholeness.

“Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest… learn from me… and you will find rest for your souls.”
— Matthew 11:28–29

Crafting Your Own Rule of Life

Creating your own Rule of Life isn’t about adding more to your already busy schedule. Nor is it about setting up an impossible standard that you need to live up to. It’s really just about identifying some things that are important and having a plan to help you prioritize doing those things.

For example, it might be setting aside some Sabbath rest time once per week, even if it’s just a few hours one evening to just unplug from everything and catch your breath. Or it might be something like getting up 20 minutes earlier to spend a little time doing some morning prayer and a short time in the word. And that might even be easier if you start to disconnect (and stay off devices) for at least 30 minutes before you go to bed (at a reasonable hour).

There’s not really a wrong way to set this up. But your goal should be to focus on the things that will help you grow closer to God and other people.

When working on your own Rule of Life, here are some categories for you to consider:

• Prayer & Scripture – Consider doing Morning/Evening Prayer (using the Venite app: Apple | Google), which combines Scripture readings with prayer. There are also many other ancient practices like Lectio Divina and Examen Prayer that you might find useful. Or simply commit to using an devotional book/guide that you find interesting. The key here is to dedicate a little time daily to being in the Word and in prayer.
• Work & Rest – Start each workday with a short prayer. And commit to reflecting on the work you do. What parts are life-giving and what parts are draining? How can you address your feelings on this? Also consider how you work Sabbath rest time into your schedule. If you can take one day per week to unplug from everything and focus on restoration, that would be ideal. But that’s not always realistic for everyone. If not, then where can you work in even shorter blocks of time to withdraw and rest?
• Relationships – Think about family time. Even if it’s just once per week, can you work in a family meal together (with no devices at the table)? Maybe you plan a regular family activity, or a date night, or both. Also consider friendships. Is there someone you want to connect with regularly, maybe for a cup of coffee? Set regular time to connect with someone who you can pour into and who can pour into you.
• Health (mental/physical) – This is where you can evaluate things like your sleep habits, your eating, and your exercise routines. All of these things can have a significant impact on your physical health and your mental health. And specific to your mental health, consider doing some regular journaling to work out things you’re experiencing. Also, consider whether it might be helpful to meet with a therapist or a spiritual director (regularly or as needed).
• Service & Stewardship – What are you doing to give to your community? Not just financially, but also maybe with your time. Are there ways you can commit to serving in the church or in your community?

I know that this looks like it could be a lot. And if you tried to develop a Rule of Life that covered as many things as you could possibly think of in each of these categories, it would be overwhelming! So start small. It’s not meant to be a burden. Find a couple ways that you feel might have a good impact on your life and start practicing them.

And know that this can shift and adapt to different seasons in your life. It might change because in the devotional time you take on, you feel like God is calling you to work more with some ministry in the church. When something like that happens, adjust your Rule of Life to work it out.

The key is to find the rhythms that work for you and that will have the impact you’re looking for. And then do your best to make it a habit.

Final Thoughts on the Rule of Life and Mental Clarity

It’s easy to get wrapped up in all the stresses of life. And it’s just as easy to let that stuff snowball on us and turn into bigger stresses. To make it worse, we also have a tendency to not focus on self-care as much as we should. We have screens glued to our faces too much, we don’t get enough sleep, we don’t get enough “together time” with loved ones, and this list can go on and on.

To make matters worse, Barna Group research shows that two-thirds of Americans don’t read the Bible (the life-giving Word of God) at least once per week. And half of all people read it less than twice per year!

No wonder mental health issues are on the rise, with many experts saying that it’s one of the most serious epidemics in our society today.

St. Benedict was on to something when set out to establish order, balance prayer and work, and enhance spiritual growth. The great wisdom in the establishment of his Rule is that aligns with how we’re designed by our Creator.

In creating our own Rule of Life, we can experience better sleep, less stress, and greater spiritual focus. It’s a practice that will lead us into greater joy and freedom, and living more fully into the calling and purpose He’s planned for us.

Your challenge in this is to spend a little time to start on developing your own Rule of Life. Start small, but think about what can have a big impact. Maybe you start with just one or two things. The important part is that you start somewhere. Try it for a month. And then spend a little time reflecting on how it’s going. Feel free to make adjustments to make it work better for you. And then add to it as it makes sense.

My prayer for you is that the Holy Spirit would be present in whatever you decide to do. May you find a time of refreshment and stability and full of purpose. And may you grow closer to God and hear His voice better, and grow closer to the people around you. Amen.