an awkward introduction

Written by Duane Scott

GENERAL EDITOR I'm a writer, nature lover, a friend, a singer (in the shower), a Cheetos lover and a Snuggie hater. And God and I are buddies.

March 8, 2011

Image Courtesy of Susan Etole

I’m new to this site.

And as a contributing author, I feel it only proper to introduce myself.

“Hi, my name is Duane Scott… and I have a thing for squirrels.”

I hold out my hand to you, waiting patiently for you to return the hand shake. I notice the subtle cock of your eyebrow, and I see how you glance into my face,  searching for some sign of crazy.

I’m not offended by this precaution you show. In fact, it has become routine to me, and I’ve learned not to fault an individual for being cautious. If I were meeting me, I’d be cautious too.

Slowly, you extend your hand to mine.

“So… squirrels?” You stammer, a half-chuckle emitting from your throat where it’s lodged.

“Ya… squirrels…” My eyes light up.

I can’t explain this fascination they hold over me.

Their eyes, all mischievous.
Their tails, all a-twitchy and poofy.
Their hands, swift yet meticulous.

Yes, God knew what He was doing when He crafted that little animal. I like to imagine Him, sitting in His lab mixing chemicals and fusing bones together. Occasionally, He glances up from His work to watch while the squirrel scampers about, jumping from Adam’s extra rib to the unassembled trunk of an elephant. He smiles then, and whispers, “Duane Scott will like that little guy.”

And all these years later, God hasn’t forgotten.

The other day, on my commute to take a pre-nursing placement test, I was stressed beyond measure, drumming nervously on the steering wheel and frantically rehearsing the elements of the periodic table.  Across the interstate ahead of me, darted a squirrel. I glanced around, and realized nary a tree was in sight.

A grin crept across my face. “What’s he doing out here?”

God knew I needed to relax. He knew I needed a reminder to breathe. And He knew especially, I needed to grin.

Two weeks later, on my drive to work, I hit a squirrel.

The screech of brakes. The sickening thud. A furtive glance in the rear-view mirror. A lump of fur lying on the pavement. A tail twitching in the breeze.

Instantly, I was angry. “Are you kidding. I actually like squirrels!”

“Nice lead foot you got there,” I heard the insidious murmurings of my conscience. “If you hadn’t been in such a hurry, speeding nonetheless…”

I coasted to a slower speed, breathed deeply, and reminded myself that God had a place for squirrels in heaven.

“Yes, I’m Duane Scott… and I have a thing for squirrels.”

I’m also a guy who has this uncanny belief that God cares about every minute detail of our lives, so much so in fact, that He sometimes strategically places squirrels in our days to remind us not to take life too seriously.

It’s a pleasure to meet you.

-Duane Scott

 

31 Comments

  1. Jay Cookingham

    Duane, I half expected the squirrel in the picture to be chowing down on a Cheeto! My oldest son Josh (22) loves squirrels also…in fact he did a Mockumentary on squirrels for his film project. You might be interested…(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmdALyNF1R4)
    Anyways, everybody else Duane is the man and a very talented writer who loves God with a passion. I hopeyou enjoy getting to know him…I know I have!

    Reply
    • Anonymous

      Jay,

      Thanks for the vote of confidence, Jay. If you can capture a picture of a squirrel eating Cheetos, I’ll pay good money for it. 🙂

      And I’m at work, so I can’t watch the video, but I look forward to seeing it tonight. 🙂

      Have a good day!

      -DS

      Reply
  2. Jeanne Damoff

    Squirrels are funny. Did you know, if you block up the entrance they were using to get into your attic and turn it into a squirrel apartment complex and/or theme park, they will sit on the ridgepole of your roof and throw things at you? I also like watching them gather up there and scold each other, arguing over whose fault it is that they can’t get back in. Ha ha on you, squirrels. Whoa. Barely dodged that acorn . . .

    Hearty handshake to you, sir, and congratulations on the new gig.

    Reply
    • Anonymous

      Jeanne,

      That just made me laugh! They are very ‘ornery. Kinda remind me of myself.

      And the cool thing is, God still loves them despite their acorn throwing. 🙂

      -DS

      Reply
  3. Anonymous

    I posted this on your blog, cause I didn’t notice the comment link at first, but you totally need to come visit me sometime. We have the craziest, bravest squirrels here. I kid you not, they will actually walk right up to you and not run away. When I was in college, a squirrel actually climbed up on one of my buddy’s shoes and just sat there looking at him. I think the years of college students feeding the little guys (and gals) has made them brave around humans. Maybe a bit too brave…*possible squirrel takeover??

    Reply
    • Anonymous

      Jason, my man.

      That’s just hilarious! There is this park out here that is the same way. I love to go there as much as I can because you can feed the squirrels from your hand. It’s like nature’s petting zoo. And yes, I’ll come visit you if you can promise a squirrel will sit on my foot.

      Wow. That’s a weird statement.

      -DS

      Reply
      • Anonymous

        No, the weird thing is I didn’t find your statement weird at all. What have you done to me?! lol

        I don’t know if I can promise that a squirrel will definitely sit on your foot, but I can put you in the right place for it to possibly happen.

        Guess I’m your squirrel pimp now. LOL

        Reply
        • Anonymous

          Wow. This conversation couldnt get more weird.

          You’re my squirrel pimp. Awesome!

          And I’m searching for a wife for you.

          Very weird relationship we got going on here Jason.

          Reply
          • Anonymous

            Truer words have never been spoken, but really, what do you expect? We are both pretty weird on our own. Put us together and BAM – a whole nutha level.

            Besides – it’s what a twitter bromance is all about. I get you squirrels, you get me a wife. Tis all cool bro.

          • Anonymous

            I was never weird until you came along Jason. I promise.

            I was just this nice guy who liked squirrels…

            What have I become?

            Do we need to break up?

          • Anonymous

            Somehow I doubt that you were never weird until I came along.

            Your love for squirrels is proof of that.

            And if anything, I’ve helped make you a better person. You really want to end such a positive bromance? I think not.

          • Anonymous

            We can work this out.

            As long as you promise never to say our bromance is making me a better person.

            Until you came along, I had no clue that Pimping squirrels was even possible.

            DS

          • Anonymous

            And you’re telling me your life isn’t better for knowing that I can get a squirrel to sit on your foot?

            Yea, you’re right.

            So how is your search for my wife going? I have the perfect squirrel picked out to sit on your foot.

  4. Kristinherdy

    My grandma had a squirrel who lived in her backyard and got so bold as to knock on the door for food. Squirrels are cool.

    I enjoyed reading this, Duane. 😀

    Reply
    • Anonymous

      Haha! Kristen, obviously, your grandma didn’t try to chase them off with a broom.

      I always get annoyed when I see people all irritated at the squirrels. They can’t help it they like the same food as the birds. 🙂

      -DS

      Reply
  5. Chuck

    “I’m also a guy who has this uncanny belief that God cares about every minute detail of our lives, so much so in fact, that He sometimes strategically places squirrels in our days to remind us not to take life too seriously.”

    I love that, Duane. While I may not share your infatuation with squirrels (I prefer slower moving animals), I do share your pursuit of this God who cares so much about us.

    Reply
    • Anonymous

      Thank you Chuck. 😉

      Reply
  6. Dusty Rayburn

    I came over here to read about flamingos and… well not about squirrels! What is this drivel? Oh wait. It is the genius of Duane Scott, and I have been sucked in by it yet again.

    God is in the details of our life and He definitely cares about ours. Good stuff…even if it did involve squirrels and not flamingos.

    Reply
    • Anonymous

      Dusty,

      I apologize again for bamboozling you into thinking it was about flamingos.

      I don’t like flamingos, just so you know. 🙂

      They stand around and think they’re betting than everyone else.

      -DS

      Reply
  7. S Etole

    I guess I’d better put the .22 away and be a bit more neighborly … 🙂

    Reply
    • Anonymous

      Susan,

      You shoot guns?

      At squirrels?

      Not funny, Susan 🙂

      Reply
      • S Etole

        not to worry … the squirrels are safe … it’s the pop cans that suffer

        Reply
        • Anonymous

          Oh,,, so you have no aim.

          I’d tell you to buy a scope, but then you might actually hit a squirrel and I’d be at fault.

          Voluntary squirrel slaughter?

          How many years in prison?

          Reply
  8. Randy

    Duane, I couldn’t agree more. God is interested in every detail of our lives. I love your snapshots of life that teach us this once again. Thanks and I won’t tell you am a former squirrel hunter.

    Reply
    • Anonymous

      Former hunter?

      May I ask…

      Did you change your recreational habits when you came to Jesus?

      I don’t think he’d like you killing squirrels 😉

      Reply
  9. Mdoallas

    Congratulations on your debut here, Duane. Better squirrels, perhaps, than that strange mole rat I read about today in the NYT, although the latter is serving us (via medical research) in ways no squirrels ever will.

    Reply
    • Anonymous

      I googles looking for that story but couldn’t find it! What was the mole thing being used to test for?

      I love medical..

      Reply
  10. nance|marie

    what are you doing over here? i hope your minding your manners and being a good guest.

    Reply
    • Anonymous

      I’m gonna be here nance, every tuesday for as long as dan will have me.

      🙂

      And I’m never a good guest.

      I always make myself at home 😉

      Reply
  11. Krista Burdine

    I had a squirrel run up to me and steal my Snickers ice cream bar right out of my hands, one day as I sat snacking on the lawn of a large state university. I was so startled, he totally won. Then he had the cheek to stop just a dozen feet from me and scold me as he ate my snack. I’ve had a love/hate fascination with squirrels ever since.

    Reply
  12. Jason Wert

    You just know it’s not wise to risk invoking squirrelly wrath.

    Reply

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an awkward introduction

by Duane Scott time to read: 2 min
36