[fatherless generation] chapter 12: in search of a name

A White stone on a Black Beach by Liam O'Malley

Written by Jeremy Carnes

My name is Jeremy Carnes. I am a student at Ball State University in Muncie, Indiana. I am studying English Literature, French, and Greek. I plan on going to graduate school to obtain my Ph.D. [eventually] in 20th Century American Literature, specifically studying the Modernist movement of the early 20th Century. In my 21 years I have had the pleasure of being an interim Youth Minister at a local church. I also lead worship for groups as often as they allow me to do so. I recently asked my girlfriend of 5 years to marry me....and she said yes! I am ready for all God has for me.

April 15, 2011

A White stone on a Black Beach by Liam O'Malley

These are sons and daughters who don’t know their true name. They are searching for who they really are. In their search, they bring this question of identity to anyone who will listen. They live with the overwhelming urge to pursue those who will affrim them and give them a name. They are willing to look anywhere to find it. A chemical fix. A gang. A video game buzz. An orgasm. A spouse. A baby.
~ John Sowers, Fatherless Generation

When I was 15, this was me. I was looking everywhere that I could to find myself.

I looked in my friends.

I looked in my posessions.

I looked in alcohol.

I looked in drugs.

I even looked in church.

What did I find?


When I say I found nothing, I am not necessarily being entirely truthful. I found plenty. But nothing that helped to define me as an individual. I found more that just helped to tear me down.

I was searching, but I had no one to help me along the way. I didn’t have anyone around to tell me about my “white stone name” [Name based off Revelation 2:17 – “Your new name is written on a white stone in heaven”]. Then I really got to know Mike, the youth pastor at the church I “went” to.

Mike changed it all. He cared. He encouraged. He spent time with. He loved. Me.

It was through this mentor that I was able to find the path to my identity. I was not defined in, through, or by Mike, but Mike helped to show me the God that I had not encountered yet. The God that shows up to tell us all that he loves us and he is pleased with us, just like he did with Jesus (Matthew 3:16-17). The God that helps us through the trials and troubles that are around every corner in the path of life, just like he did with Jesus (Luke 4). It was then that I realized God cared.

Though I don’t know my “white stone name” yet, I believe that I am on the path to figuring it out. I have found my identity in Christ, which will lead to my identity in heaven.

This is what we need to make known to the fatherless generation. The generation that has lost their identity in the disappearance of their fathers.

This is where we can lead them. Support leads to knowledge, knowledge to identity, identity to life.


1 Comment

  1. @bibledude

    the only thing that amazes me more than all of the places people search for their identity is the fact that so few people make an effort to help others find it. i know that in my life i’ve had to overcome more criticism than anything else… it’s tough to discover who you are when all you get is criticism…

    this is a great post jeremy! i really like the “white stone name” perspective! thank you!


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[fatherless generation] chapter 12: in search of a name

by Jeremy Carnes time to read: 2 min