10 ways pain can help us tell story better

Written by Ayomide Akinkugbe

I believe these are the days. . . #TwentySomething #GodChaser #Revolutionary Child of The Light

September 18, 2011

Pain is ‘painful’ and mostly not desired but a lot of people are always affected one way or the other by it and creators of art aren’t always left out. And some say that a creator (a writer especially) has more to create when the person has experienced  a lot of pain. Most have heard this and gone ahead to create out of pain and leave long pages bitter and sweet music sour. How can pain help us tell story better? I have thought about this and this are helpful findings I think worth sharing

1. We learn from pain; we don’t let it damage us. We show our scars; we should never try to ignore them. We must find  and realize the beautiful tattoo in our scars before the world can see the beauty in them.

2. We must remember skin is a covering; the main bone of contention is what our circumstance has done to our souls, and an ever shining hope; the soul can heal if we learn to surrender.

3. We must be convinced that the events in our story aren’t random. Like Cinderella becoming an orphan, she would one day become a princess. Like Snow White falling into a deep sleep, she would one day be awaken by a beautiful kiss.

4. We must embrace the uniqueness of every story including our personal story. This would ease the error of comparing ourselves. There are comedies, action flicks, family dramas,adventures and horror motion pictures. Every one of these isn’t appreciated by everyone. And life would be boring if we only had only one.

5. Stories are sometimes like unborn babies. Never force out a story prematurely. It might leave a wound on you if told in the wrong time. Glean from it. Learn wisdom from your past foolishness. In it time, you will be able to tell it with enough boldness and poise.

6. Somehow people always sense pain if it by any means shows up on the page. When a story is due to be told somehow pain doesn’t appear on the page. A joy of transformation is what appears on the page. And people are always more in awe of the joy than the pain.

7. Your pain in its raw form does no one good.

8. Never let pain let you lose the appreciation of the uniqueness of story. Because the experience was like that for you does not mean everyone has it like that.

9. See it as a phase. Holding on to pain as a writer or story-teller might just give your story a monotony you don’t wish for. Leave the door open for the blessings and joys that would come. That’s why its called life after all. Stay open!

10. One thing that would steal the lessons and the treasures you have gained in your season of pain is cynicism. Never let pain harden your heart ( when it does, the art becomes heartless; very not flexible ) but let it soften and purify it.

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it” – Maya Angelou

“. . .[I will] give them bouquets of roses instead of ashes, Messages of joy instead of news of doom. . . ” – Isaiah 61:3 (The Message)

Stepping Out:
11. (The Bonus) : Sometimes healing takes time. If you are in a season of pain don’t see it as a pause on life. Move close to those who love and appreciate you. Celebrate! Yes, you read that right, celebrate. Turn up the music you love, read books you have longed to read, feed the ‘hungry’ around you, extend a hand to the hurting around you. Choose a day to pray (consistently) for those going through the same situation you are going through. Curl up into bed on most nights and freeze the moments that stole your breath away during the day by penning down the words. Find your rooting and take time to discover the real ‘you’.  You’ll Be OK. One day you would look back and cherish the words you wrote down during this season. You would cherish the person you have become through this cause and you’ll be Be OK. It’s just a phase and you must choose to not let it faze the happy ending of  your story 🙂

Are you a writer, singer, artist, story-teller or a creator of art of any kind. In what ways have pain helped you tell story or create art better? I would love to hear from you.


  1. Megan Willome

    I really like No. 6. I saw that when I wrote an article on reasons to appreciate Harry Potter. I was able to write it because those seven books really touch the pain I’ve gone through in a way almost nothing else does. But my article was fun & upbeat, and just a tad poignant.

    • Ayomide Akinkugbe

      Thanks Megan. I’m so thankful for the stories we can comfortably sit back and enjoy and still find our selves in. I have many of them. The first for me was a lil’ book I came across while i was in high school titled ‘StarGirl’ by Jerry Spinelli. Somehow the protagonist’s pain is your pain and somehow he finds a way to the happy ending of the story. And somehow as you close the last page hope rises within you that there’s a happy ending awaiting you. So much bliss Megan! And thanks for sharing how pain has helped you tell story better 🙂

  2. Michael Walden

    Though I take a light hearted approach to it in most of my posts, the pain of addiction and recovery has been the impetus for my series on recovery 🙂 Great Post!

    • Ayomide Akinkugbe

      Thanks Michael !


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10 ways pain can help us tell story better

by Ayomide Akinkugbe time to read: 4 min