i’m a wimp

Written by Duane Scott

GENERAL EDITOR I'm a writer, nature lover, a friend, a singer (in the shower), a Cheetos lover and a Snuggie hater. And God and I are buddies.

June 30, 2011

Yesterday, I was a big wimp.

My wife, being the warrior that she is, climbed out of my car confidently and faced her fears head on.

“Text me when you’re done,” I said and drove away.

Yes, like a sissy.

As I made my getaway, leaving her behind, I made excuses.

“It’s just too pretty a day to ruin it with having someone breath on you. I know dentist wear masks and all, but I can always feel the warmth on my cheeks as he bends low, drill in hand, ready to make my life a living…”

So I went shopping instead of getting my yearly dental checkup.

It hurts me to admit this, trust me.

But as I started shopping, I begin to see this same attitude conveyed in nearly every action.

While buying a drink up at the checkout, I knew the healthier choice would be a bottle of water, but just as I opened the fridge, the sodas begin looking all awesome and tempting and started condensing in their cool jailhouse. Little beads of delightful coolness inching their way down to my hand; a hand squeezed tightly around a bottle of Aquafina.

I bought a soda.

As I purchased shrubs and bushes at the nursery to start working on the landscaping of our house, I bumped up against this same attitude. There were some nice smaller shrubs on sale toward the front, near the checkout, but as I ambled through the small urban forest, I found some a little bigger, a little more vibrant, a little more bushy. Of course, they also had a bigger price tag attached.

I bought the big ones.

Continuously, I make bad choices because of my lack of self-will. It’s become somewhat of a pattern for me. I suppose after always taking the easy way out, it starts becoming somewhat of a norm for me.

As I pulled my car up to the dental office, and Southern Gal climbed in, I smiled sweetly at her. I nudged my sunglasses closer to my face and thought to myself, “She has no idea what the last 30 minutes have done to me.”

We drove home, planted our shrubs, ate dinner and went to bed.

Today is a new day. I didn’t just wake up when my alarm clock went off, but I went the second mile and actually climbed out of my luscious bed.

I’m trying.

But I might wait a little while before I make an appointment to have a dentist breath on me.

Baby steps, I tell you, baby steps.

 

– Duane Scott

 

30 Comments

  1. Megan Willome

    Baby steps–we just re-watched “What About Bob?” over the weekend.

    Reply
    • Duane Scott

      Megan,

      I’m not familiar with that one.

      Maybe its because I’m 21.

      Or maybe because I don’t watch TV.

      -DS

      Reply
  2. Cathy

    Love it. I skipped last year’s dentist appt. Which I really can’t afford to do, at my age…

    I’m sure most of us get lazy about our decision-making. Thanks for the reminder. 

    Reply
    • Duane Scott

      @a0b7602f6c683ae4e50019681555c02a:disqus …

      No, none of us can afford to skip a dentist appointment, but neither can we afford to go.

      When you get married, there is always a better place to throw $100 then into your teeth. 🙂

      Reply
  3. Anonymous

    Isn’t Purina cat chow?
    I tend to be frugal.  I go to the dentist for regular check ups because it’s cheaper than trying to save my teeth later, or get an implant.

    Reply
    • Duane Scott

      Oh help!

      It is!!! Help me! What is the brand of water that starts with P?

      Reply
      • Anonymous

        Poland Spring?  Penta? Polaris?  I’m just glad you weren’t reaching for cold cat chow!

        Reply
        • Duane Scott

          Haha!!!! What is the most common water?

          Ah!!!!

          It’s Aquafina. Dan, if you’re reading this, can you edit it? I’d hate for people to think I was drinking cat food!

          Thanks Helen!

          I owe you. Big time…

          Reply
          • Anonymous

            Around here, it is Poland Spring that is the most common water that starts with “p”  (except for “pee”, which we NEVER drink).
            I must give you props for being a good kitty..er, I mean sport.  🙂

          • Melissa Brotherton

            I was wondering about that as I read it. 🙂 Haha! 

          • Duane Scott

            OH! This is embarrassing! It still isn’t changed! I’m gonna go bury my head now in a bottle of Purina.

  4. Jason Vana

    First you’re scared of peeps. Now you wimp out of a dentist visit? 

    That’s it. Turn in your Man Card. NOW!

    I’ve actually never had issues going to the dentist. Never had a cavity or root canal or really any dentisty problems with my teeth. Now, I hated going to the orthodontist. That man slowly pulled my top jaw apart (my teeth didn’t actually hit, so I had a permanent retainer that pushed my upper jaw apart to match my lower jaw), took molds of my teeth that left me gagging, strapped braces on me, and used his brace removal tool that about ripped my teeth out. All when I was a teenager.

    But I must say, I have pretty amazing teeth now  =D

    Reply
    • Duane Scott

      I will not cry… I will not cry… I will not cry…

      Just kidding.

      See? I hate the dentist! Everybody has a horror story.

      DS

      Reply
  5. Dusty Rayburn

    Wimpy wimpy wimpy…  🙂

    I would have totally gone for the bigger shrubs too. My wife on the other hand is the frugal one…she would have been looking for a sapling and looking forward to enjoyment of watching its baby steps of growth.

    Hrmmm… Sounds like SG and my wife may have something in common there. Are we saplings?

    Reply
    • Duane Scott

      Dusty.

      I get that feeling all the time that my wife didn’t marry me for the man I was, but instead for the man I’d become.

      It’s a sad truth.

      You? You should be already trained.

      I’m still getting whacked with newspapers.

      Reply
  6. Anonymous

    shoot… i cant think of anything nice to say… open wide??

    Reply
    • Duane Scott

      @Julie63:disqus …

      Start with, “You’re not a wimp.”

      That’d be nice.

      Too many people agreeing that I’m a wimp on this page. Oh well, I opened myself up to it I suppose. 🙂

      Reply
      • Anonymous

        indeed you did.. but you can redeem yourself…someway..i am sure of it.Maybe kill a snake or a big spider.. then you can turn in the wimp card for the man card again.. 😉  btw.. i dont even like feeling my husbands breath on me if he rolls to my side.. so i am all with you on that one! Makes me cringe!

        Reply
        • Duane Scott

          Haha!

          I will let you know when I can find something manly• if you would see my shoes today, I bet you’d hand it back 😉

          Reply
  7. bill (cycleguy)

    I echo Dusty.  🙂  I have seen the dentist/ortho more in the past two years than in my entire life after getting braces at age 56.  Imagine!  The real trooper though is my bride who had a root canal done.  Isn’t that one of those things they ride boats on in the jungle?  Thanks for the story DS.

    Reply
    • Duane Scott

      Oh @aa511effd1b39a6c2ccd0a6ef85e4a08:disqus … you make me laugh.

      I will never be able to think of a root canal again without thinking of you. See how you’ve enriched my life?

      So, it isn’t too late to get braces? I’m seriously considering it. But then I’d have to get over my fear of dentists…

      Like that’s happening.

      Reply
  8. Melissa Brotherton

    Sounds like you had a more painful experience than SG. 🙂 

    Reply
    • Duane Scott

      Karma, huh?

      Actually, I believe in life lessons.

      I learned one.

      Reply
    • Duane Scott

      @Sheila_Lagrand:disqus … Thanks for reading! 🙂

      I appreciate you.

      Reply
  9. Moe

    From someone who has never had a cavity, I laugh at your fears. For someone who should be eating healthier and exercising more, I cry at my lack of motivation.  We are even!

    Reply
    • Duane Scott

      @mvivas:disqus … I will continuously be updating you about my successful weight loss and my love for my treadmill…. just to make you feel guilty.

      And I expect you to send me daily pictures of your perfect teeth.

      Forget that.

      (Ha! I had to go back up there and correct “teet” to “teeth”)

      AWKWARD

      Reply
  10. Jeffrey Holton

    Everybody needs to look really closely at that photo. LOL!

    Anyway, I tend to nap while I’m getting my teeth cleaned. My dentist is really gentle. I find it thoroughly boring. Dead time.

    Reply
    • Duane Scott

      I found a gentle dentist once… But he had a high voice and once touched my ankle to comfort me.

      I no longer visit him.

      Reply
    • Duane Scott

      I found a gentle dentist once… But he had a high voice and once touched my ankle to comfort me.

      I no longer visit him.

      Reply

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i’m a wimp

by Duane Scott time to read: 2 min
31