Yesterday, I was a big wimp.

My wife, being the warrior that she is, climbed out of my car confidently and faced her fears head on.

“Text me when you’re done,” I said and drove away.

Yes, like a sissy.

As I made my getaway, leaving her behind, I made excuses.

“It’s just too pretty a day to ruin it with having someone breath on you. I know dentist wear masks and all, but I can always feel the warmth on my cheeks as he bends low, drill in hand, ready to make my life a living…”

So I went shopping instead of getting my yearly dental checkup.

It hurts me to admit this, trust me.

But as I started shopping, I begin to see this same attitude conveyed in nearly every action.

While buying a drink up at the checkout, I knew the healthier choice would be a bottle of water, but just as I opened the fridge, the sodas begin looking all awesome and tempting and started condensing in their cool jailhouse. Little beads of delightful coolness inching their way down to my hand; a hand squeezed tightly around a bottle of Aquafina.

I bought a soda.

As I purchased shrubs and bushes at the nursery to start working on the landscaping of our house, I bumped up against this same attitude. There were some nice smaller shrubs on sale toward the front, near the checkout, but as I ambled through the small urban forest, I found some a little bigger, a little more vibrant, a little more bushy. Of course, they also had a bigger price tag attached.

I bought the big ones.

Continuously, I make bad choices because of my lack of self-will. It’s become somewhat of a pattern for me. I suppose after always taking the easy way out, it starts becoming somewhat of a norm for me.

As I pulled my car up to the dental office, and Southern Gal climbed in, I smiled sweetly at her. I nudged my sunglasses closer to my face and thought to myself, “She has no idea what the last 30 minutes have done to me.”

We drove home, planted our shrubs, ate dinner and went to bed.

Today is a new day. I didn’t just wake up when my alarm clock went off, but I went the second mile and actually climbed out of my luscious bed.

I’m trying.

But I might wait a little while before I make an appointment to have a dentist breath on me.

Baby steps, I tell you, baby steps.

 

– Duane Scott

 

i’m a wimp

by Duane Scott time to read: 2 min
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