Raising selfish kids is easy peasy. Follow these simple steps:
1. Stay home.
2. Buy items you don’t need.
3. Forget about chores.
4. Refuse to discuss world events.
5. Encourage comparing.
6. Talk about all the things you don’t have.
7. Reject failure.
8. Give prizes for everything.
9. Never talk about money.
10. Ignore them. Hello, you are busy.
11. Always wait to have hard conversations.
12. Make sure all of your children’s friends look exactly like them.
13. Refuse to make your kids do anything which doesn’t appeal to them.
14. Make sure they are always comfortable.
15. Let the responsibility of teaching your kids about God fall on your youth pastor (Hey, that’s his job!)).