I had a moment of weakness.
I’m ashamed to say that I cheated. And it wasn’t just a little bit. I cheated bad. Yeah, I feel horrible about it, mostly because I know there’s no way I can take it back. I wish I could. I really wish I could.
I was just about two-thirds of the way through food month in [the 7 project]. The biggest part of my new diet was a breakfast that reminded me of my time in Africa, and a rice-and-beans lunch that reminded me of Haiti. For the most part, these eating times had become sweet times of remembering special people and praying for them as I ate.
Then it happened.
The weekend came, and so did a whole bunch of important ‘stuff’ that I needed to get done. I got right to it shortly after rolling out of bed at something like 9 or 10 o’clock. And since I didn’t have any eggs ready, I skipped breakfast. Then it started rolling around to lunchtime. My stomach starts to rumble. I know I need to stop to eat, but it’ll have to be quick if I’m going to do everything that I need to get done.
Dangit! I didn’t have any rice and beans ready yet either. If I was going to stick to the plan, then I’d have to cook some… and that would take a little while.
So I broke down and just grabbed something to eat. I don’t even remember what the first thing I grabbed was, but I do remember that it was easy. Pretty much open the door to the fridge or pantry, scan the dozens of options available to me, and grab the one thing that seems most appealing at the moment.
I ate, and I got back to my ‘important’ tasks.
But that incident snowballed into an entire weekend of eating ‘off-plan’. With so much to do, I just never had the time to stop and focus on food. Then it hits me…
Food isn’t a priority for me.
That statement lingered with me. I couldn’t stop thinking about how convenient it is for me to eat (nearly anything I want) when I want. I don’t know that I felt guilty for being in that place, but it did become very clear to me how fortunate and blessed I am to not have to worry about food.
Several days later, I’m still thinking about this reality with my situation when an IM chat notification pops for me. It’s a friend of mine from one of the third-world countries that I’ve visited. While asking him how things are going for him, he tells me (I believe very hesitantly) that he hasn’t eaten in over two days now.
Yep, two days.
It doesn’t matter how much I try to willingly limit what I eat, I may not ever realize what real hunger is like. Food just isn’t a priority for me. But I know many who have no other priorities when they wake up every morning.
I’m still not sure what to do with this one.